Squelching the suffocating sounds of sabatoge

» Listen to the Stories You Tell Yourself Intent Blog.

This is such a good topic and fabulous read. Oh the stories and the dialogues that go on up there. Sometimes the “message” thunders from my inner core. Sometimes “it” blankets me like heavy fog. Usually the dull pressing grip curls my shoulders forward to protect my heart.Too late-lungs  already clenched tightly, unable to breathe,  thoughts become muddled,chaotic, nonsensical. This is the maelstrom I abhor,dread and detest. The vortex sucks my entire consciousness below the crusty pseudo surface of  the moment. Fade to grey,cold, bone chilling duskiness. Paralysis by abandonment,suffocation,death of the soul.Unable to move,see,feel,function.But for a second..wait..Barely glimpse a flicker of hope? Could there be? Is there really? Might it be possible? Of course there is…the faint weakly pulsing sounds wooshing through constricted vessels, they echo the Truth.Yes, just try,one more time.Ask. Believe. Gulp in the Dream, there is renewal. Open the window, fresh invigorating Life floods in…The beating becomes stronger,more steady,empowering. Color returns,the haze begins to lift, vision is restored, thoughts approach clarity. Had I forgotten the Key was within this whole time? In the scathing  furor of schizotic recriminations had I surrendered my will and succumbed to the bleakness & despair?Had I actually relinquished ownership of my mind? to what? Surely it is the Dark one attempting another thievery. One falsehood at a time,eroding every shred of dignity,self respect, confidence and Faith..The “message”is powerful..it can take me down in an instant if I allow it to take root.If in my self pity I feed

Lift my eyes up to the Lord

it’s arrogance and destruction, it grows bigger and more ferocious than ever. But when I reject it’s advances and grab hold of my armor, it is powerless over my sanity. It only takes a flash. one seemingly innocuous act can recharge the cycle…IF I allow it..I DO have the key, deep within..sometimes more accessible than others, sometimes I’ve misplaced the key or take a moment to deliberate in which direction my choices will lead me..but ALWAYS it is up to me to condone or condemn the Messages…The bright,uplifting Spirit I so adore will fill me if I plant the proper seeds, each and every morning…it’s my choice, it’s my responsibility..like a life treatement plan. My condition will remain stable as long as I adhere to clear regimen of Goodness, Light, Joy, Self respect and Truth.He’s Always there for me, doing for me what I can not do for myself, and WITH HIM I can do ALL things..The choice is mine. I hold the Key! And for this I am grateful


About lmcuene

All-in! Connector, storycollector, imagineer,relationship builder,advocate,artsfanatic, passionate about family,Creativity,Faith,Doing Good, Being the Change!-Wonderfully Blessed child of the Creator,the Almighty Maker. Grateful human, Mom of two Joys, Lover of life,curious explorer,wannabe artist, fearless searcher for justice-dreamer,doer,thinker.Working towards a better world. It starts within,the heart's alignment,with a choice,an attitude, intentional movement towards Goodness.When we simply "connect"-with eye contact, a gentle hand on the shoulder- we affirm others, giving the gift of Presence-Sharing our story creates heart openings through which we are united in our Humanity. Simply be a good neighbor. Be Love in action. Joy IS in the Journey-Choosing Goodness, Gratitude, Action,Truth and FAITH!
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